Allie took another gulp of her diet coke and choked nearly spitting soda all over her keyboard. “Damn, I hate when it gets warm.” She watched her yahoo messenger for the familiar chime that her friend was now online. She’d been waiting for a couple of hours now while she got caught up on some of her work. She debated again on whether or not she should ask for advice in one of the message forums instead of waiting for Liz.
Liz was one of the lucky ones. Her husband spanks her. Well, Allie’s did too, but Liz’s husband was the real deal. Allie frowned. That sounded ungrateful. Allie was one of the lucky ones too, because her husband spanks her. It was just different, because it had been Allie’s idea. Grrr, even that sounded like she was whining. Forget it. It was better to wait for Liz because she would understand even if Allie did sound like an ungrateful whiner.
Another 45 minutes later and Allie was blessed with the chime! “Liz is online.” It’s about time.
Allie: Hey Liz. I’ve been waiting for you.
Liz: Hey, what’s up?
Allie: I’m in one of those moods again.
Liz: Uh oh, “the I need a spanking” mood?
Allie: Yes, but I feel so damn guilty that I need it, and not just a play one. I even got one of those the other night and it helped, but it just wasn’t what I needed.
Liz: sheesh, girl, I could give you one of mine.
Allie: LOL, no, though it does sound tempting.
Liz: That’s because you’ve never felt Kyle’s lexan paddle
Allie knew that Liz’s husband spanks whenever he thinks she needs it, and Liz is expected to submit to whatever spanking he decides she needs – paddles, belts, hairbrushes and other things Allie couldn’t even think about. She also knew that Kyle probably gives much harder spankings than Allie could ever take. She’d never even felt a lexan paddle, and didn’t have any desire to feel one from all she’d heard about them. Allie’s problem wasn’t her husband’s ability to spank, it was getting him to take the initiate to spank. Kyle seemed to almost instinctively know when Liz needed a spanking. At least it seemed that way. Liz never got the “I need a spanking” mood.
Liz: try being a brat. That always gets me spanked.
Allie thought about Liz’s words and started heaping the guilt on herself again. Why couldn’t she just be happy with what she had? She had to admit that most days she really was – very happy, ridiculously happily married. It was just when the “i need a spanking” mood would hit and wouldn’t let go. Then there was the guilt and feeling horrible about herself, and let’s not even talk about the “why the heck do I even need discipline” feelings.
LiZ: you still there?
Allie: yes sorry. You know that’s the whole thing, Liz. I don’t want to be a brat or have attitude to get a spanking. I know he can’t read my mind either. So I don’t know what to do to make this feeling go away, and the more it hangs on the worse I feel about myself.
Liz: Why do you feel bad about needing a spanking?
Allie: No, I feel bad about not being thankful that my husband does spank me. I read the forums. I know how lucky I am. I know most women with this need would change places with me in a heartbeat. Heck, they’d kill to be in your place.
Liz: Well until they met up with the immovable force that is my husband. Then they’d think just like I do, “what the heck did I get myself into.”
Liz’s husband had been a spanking man since they met in college. He had always spanked her for bad behavior, and of course they had plenty of the sexy, yummy kind of spankings too. In fact, Liz was more likely to complain how unfair a spanking was than to ever get the “I need a spanking” mood. Allie wondered if she was just idealizing Liz’s marriage.
Allie: Maybe I need rules like you do.
Liz: don’t go there, girl. Trust me. There is nothing fun about rules.
Allie: but if I had rules maybe I wouldn’t get these feelings – needing discipline. The rules would be a sort of discipline, wouldn’t they?
Liz: Rules just mean you don’t get to do what you want to do whenever you want to do it. And my paddle wielding husband makes me tell on myself when I break a rule. I mean do I look dumb to you? I know that’s going to get me spanked.
Allie: LOL Do you even ever break the rules, Liz? I know he has that evil paddle. You must be a brave girl.
Liz: Oh sure I break the rules. I’m just really careful about it.
Allie: OH! I am so telling on you. LOL What happened to telling him about it?
Liz: Yeah well that’s one of the rules I break a lot.
Allie thought about that. Even with rules and the certainty of a paddling, Liz still misbehaved. She sighed and felt even more confused. Maybe this “I need a spanking” mood will just pass on its own.
Liz: Think about why you feel you need a discipline spanking. Do you just need a good cry?
Allie: I’m not sure. That’s part of it I think.
Liz: Do you need his attention? Because hey there are a lot better ways to get attention.
Allie: No it’s not that I’m sure. He gives me a lot of attention.
The chat was quiet for a few minutes while both of them ran for a diet coke refill.
Allie: You know. I think I just need something emotional that comes from a real disciplinary spanking. I’m just not sure what to call it or how to express it.
Liz: Well girlfriend, you have only have so many choices here. You talk to him or you misbehave.
Allie: I hate that whole idea of misbehaving on purpose. It just feels fake.
Liz: I think you hate that he can’t see what you need, that he can’t read your mind.
Allie: OK, now I’m back to feeling horrible about myself.
Liz: Talk to him. It got you this far hasn’t it?
Allie: I’ll think about it. Thanks Liz.
They said goodbye just as Allie heard the garage door opener signal her husband was home.
- to be continued-